Kim Kardashian would make anyone’s list of “Top 10 Overexposed Celebrities,” because her very celebrity existence depends on exposure. From skimpy outfits, wardrobe malfunctions and paparazzi posing to an endless stream of Twitter pics and reality TV melodrama, she’s a case study in overexposure. But she’s not the only one.
Whether by design or by accident, a number of celebrities were constantly underfoot this year. In a few cases it may have been by happenstance. In most cases it was by design.
That’s because the old adage “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” can be the kiss of death for all but A-list actors. Sadly many of these celebrities are past their prime and are desperately clinging to fame. They haven’t made a good film in years, or haven’t made any films. Yet they keep turning up in tabloids.
Others are overexposed for all the wrong reasons, like arrests, car wrecks, emotional oubursts, paparazzi bashing, marital infidelities and divorce. To all of them, we say: “Enough already!” So here, in descending order, is our list of “Top 10 Overexposed Celebrities.” They overstayed their welcome in 2012. A little less of them would be a lot more in 2013.10. Prince Harry: Sure, he’s randy chap, one of England’s most eligible bachelors and royalty to boot. But really, enough with the bad behavior. His sense of entitlement is already off the scale. He’s 28, well past the age when he should have settled down. Sadly, Prince William is the anointed one. He’ll be king, one day. That leaves Harry with very little on his plate. In the old days, kings usually murdered their siblings. These days, that’s off the table, but Harry would do well after his nude party scandal to lay low, really low for the year.
9. Brad Pitt: Say what you will about partner Angelina Jolie, she knows when to shut up. Brad, on the other hand, is turning into a firefly. It’s bad enough we have to put up with his pretentious films. For every “Moneyball,” we get “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” “The Tree of Life,” and “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” Now he’s doing a zombie movie and ridiculous Chanel commercials. Does he need the money? If not, what’s the point? All those films and no Oscar, is that it? Get married already.8. Jenny McCarthy: Gotta love her. She’s done more with blonde hair and fake boobs than most celebrities of her generation. But that about sums up her talent. It’s no surprise her celebrity trajectory began with a Playboy spread in 1993 and ended this year in another Playboy spread. She had nowhere else to go. She’s still drop-dead gorgeous, but she should have stuck with raunchy comedy. Ever since she tried to get serious, she’s become downright dangerous. Ask any doctor; her whack views on Autism and childhood vaccines have done more to set back children’s health than a flu epidemic. They hate her. Now she’s trying to take the Jane Fonda route and become a fitness guru. We have one word for her: plastic. 7. Sharon Stone: She killed, absolutely killed, in “Basic Instinct.” The scene where she crosses her legs in front of her police interrogators is one of the most sexually powerful and erotic in the annals of film-making. She had Hollywood eating out of her hand after that. But a string of really, really bad movies followed and Hollywood discovered she couldn’t act. Now, she’s slipped into caricature. Like so many celebrities, she equates notoriety with fame. She’s a tabloid staple thanks to a seemingly unending stream of wardrobe malfunctions and paparazzi posing with ridiculous boytoys. Her problem is she’s 54 trying to play 24. No wonder she can’t get any film roles. Maybe she can turn it around with “Lovelace.” Probably not. 6. One Direction: Sure, we get it: They’re cute, lovable, mischievous lads who sing and dance. Music mogul Simon Cowell assembled the boys, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, from “X-Factor” rejects. He’s proved once again that slick marketing and steady tabloid hype can make you a star. Like we said; we get it. Every generation gets the boy band it deserves. Memba’ N Sync? These lads are just as over-processed. Let’s give them all a break in 2013. Then we’ll enjoy seeing them that much more when they turn up on “Dancing With the Stars” in a few years. 5. Bobbi Kristina Brown and Nick Gordon: We loved the show “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,” but we have to draw the line on shows based on the lifestyles of the relatives of the rich and famous. Bobbi and Nick have no discernible talent except for exploiting the tragic death of their mother, singing legend Whitney Houston. If Houston had any shred of public dignity left after years of drug abuse, Bobbi’s and Nick’s behavior since her death has erased it. They get high, fornicate, flaunt their incest, wreck cars and call it a reality show. Now their 15 minutes is just about up and guess what? They weren’t really dating or engaged, after all. Hahaha! See they really are normal! Nick should wise up and get a job at Burger King. God help Bobbi. 4. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise: Aren’t there laws against the way poor Suri is constantly paraded in front of the paparazzi? Apparently, that’s what happens when both parents are actors. You become a prop in their freak show. Katie is a darling and she did the right thing giving Tom and that crazy religion the boot. We also understand that she’s determined to live a normal life, paparazzi be damned. But she has to realize she’s not normal; she’s a celebrity. For the sake of Suri, try to be a little more discrete in 2013. Suri is facing years of therapy as it is. As for Tom, love the movies, keep at it. But ditch the scary-ass cult. Really, what’s the point of all that?
3. Rihanna: She’s a tremendous talent, sexy beyond belief, and yet we’re sick of her, her tattoos, her hot Twitter snaps and her bi-polar personality. She works hard, parties harder and tops our list for a spot in the 27 Club. Fortunately, she’s only 24, so she still has a few years to turn things around. Erratic behavior is never a good sign and it’s difficult to tell what’s really up with the Barbadian beauty. Is she dating Chris Brown, or not? Is she in dire need of rehab, or living healthy? After cranking out seven albums in seven years, one thing is certain, she needs a rest to get herself together. Self-destruction is never pretty, especially when it plays out in the tabloids. As for Brown, he beat her unconscious and left her for dead, and she thinks he’s changed? Crazy.
2. Bonny Fuller and HollywoodLife: Fuller is a genius; an evil genius. Sure, her website was popular in 2012, but for all the wrong reasons. She’s a master of tabloid journalism–a black art of misleading headlines, out-of-context quotes and suspicious “sources.” She plays all the angles, from ruthless celebrity exploitation to the worst kind of sycophantic pandering. Yet, we can’t look away, and that’s the point. The crass manipulation, soulless toying with emotions and shameless intellectual dishonesty are a grotesque masquerade. So much so, GossipCop has made debunking HL stories a cottage industry. HollywoodLife reflects the true state of tabloid journalism today: ruthless, passive-aggressive and totally amoral.
1. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: “Twilight” is over, and they should be, too. It was great while it lasted and made a couple of kids international stars, well before their time. At least Rob was honest. He’s always said he was boring. Now we can take him at his word. As for Kristen, “Twilight” was a double-edged sword. Before the saga, we thought she could act; after four movies, we now know she can’t. As a couple they were sadly misjudged. On-screen, their characters were driven by immortal love; off-screen they allowed themselves to be portrayed the same way and probably laughed about it. Big mistake. They turned out to be just as dysfunctional as any other Hollywood couple. Now they look like a couple of heels. Who knows, maybe the can keep it together. Hollywood could use another “Ozzie and Harriett.”
Footnote: You may notice that Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and other obvious, over-exposed celebrities didn’t make our list. That’s because their overexposure needs no explanation. Let us know who else should have made the list and click here to follow TheImproper on Twitter for all the latest celebrity updates.