Donald Trump has gotten himself in another fine mess. If there was any doubt before, it’s clearly evident now: Vladimir Putin owns him. Now the only question is why? Despite all the TV news talking heads, late-night comedians, once again, seemed to put their fingers on the problem.
“Why so bad?” Stephen Colbert asked. “Well, he was asked about Russian meddling about our election and whether he believed all our intelligence people or Putin,” he said.
Trump not only threw the U.S. intelligence officials under the bus, he put it in reverse and turned them into “road burger,” he added.
“If Trump’s spineless toadying to Putin made you think ‘What’s Vlad got on him, you’re not the only one,” Colbert wondered. “It was pee-pee tape.”
Colbert shared his own experience during a visit to Russia. “When I was in Russia, and this is true, I was followed everywhere I went, and I’m a comedian.”
“I was informed by our security people, in no uncertain terms, that my phone was bugged and my room had cameras in it. So I showered in a blue blazer.”
Even “Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon, who’s been the softest on Trump, had some pretty pointed jokes about Trump’s Helsinki meeting.
“Trump was pretty nervous, which makes sense, because most people are pretty nervous when you meet your boss,” he said.
“The met one-on-one and the meeting lasted two hours, or about one hour and 58 minutes longer than his meeting with Stormy Daniels.”
Over at Comedy Central’s “Daily Show,” Trevor Noah called it this way: “If your name is Vladimir Putin, then today was a very good day. Because today, the President of the United States took your side in a fight between you and the United States,” he said.
“So basically, Trump believes Vladimir Putin over his own national security team. He just didn’t let Russia off the hook for election meddling, he blamed both countries for the breakdown in their relationship.”
Seth Meyers devoted his “Closer Look” Segment at Trump’s entire European visit and concluded it was a shit show from the get go.
First he breaks royal protocol by slighting the Queen of England. Then, he showed he clearly didn’t understand the UK’s Brexit debate. And, he erroneously said Ireland was part of Great Britain.
“Irlend is not part of the UK. They famously fought a ton of wars over it. Seriously, if you don’t believe me Donald, I dare you to go into any pub in Ireland and tell them they are part of the UK. Then, you can use their free health care to get the pint glass removed from your rectum,” he said.
But that was only a side show to the main event.
“When Trump got to Finland, the charm offensive continued. Trump made clear that he was desperate to get in Putin’s good graces by repeatedly offering nothing but gushing praise for Russia’s hosting of the World Cup,” he noted.
But Jimmy Kimmel probably captured the moment best.
“Today was maybe the strangest of all 542 bizarre days of Donald Trump’s reign of error,” he said. “The president has been to Europe insulting our allies and rubbing his nipples up against our enemies.”
“Helsinki has frozen over. The President of the United States today publicly sided with Russia over our own FBI on the subject of cyber attacks on our election campaign.”
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