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Charlie Sheen Winning Tour Torpedoed by More Losses

For a winner, duh, Charlie Sheen is losing a lot lately. The former “Two and a Half Men” star was handed a humiliating defeat in court, losing custody of his twins, despite the erratic behavior of his estrange wife Brooke Mueller. Then his show bombed, again. Loser!

Audience members were spotted heading for the doors mid-show in Washington, D.C., giving a thumbs down to his Torpedo of Truth tour.

Sheen was spotted at Washington’s Dulles airport, after taking a flight from Lost Angeles. Goddess Natalie Kenly, a former nanny, was at his side.

His other goddess, Bred Olsen, reportedly has decided being a mere mortal porn star is preferable to Sheen’s weird sideshow, no matter how much she is exalted.

He was an hour late to his own show at DAR Constitution Hall, which seats about 2,000 people.

The delay was caused by the custody court hearing, which set Sheen back on his heels.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Hank Goldberg, who closed the hearing to the press, ruled that Muller should maintain full custody of two-year-old twin sons, Bob and Max.

Sheen, 45, had sought temporary custody after Mueller reportedly had a drug relapse and had returned for her second stint in rehab.

Friends said she was shopping around for “clean urine,” that is, untainted by drugs, and ultimately refused to take a drug test Friday (Apr. 15).

Mueller, 33, reportedly scored cocaine earlier in the week after a hazardous trip to a seedy section of Los Angeles, according to gossip site, radaronline.

Muller’s mother, Moira Fiore, is taking care of the boys, while she’s in rehab.

Sheen friends made a point of noting that Charlie is drug free. “If the judge were to ask Charlie to take a urine drug test on the spot, Charlie would. He has nothing to hide,” a source told the Web site.

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