Lady Gaga was reduced to blubbering about her past as she recalled her school days when she was a self-described “loser.” To this day, she says she often feels that way. ” I still feel like people are trying to destroy me,” she says.
Gaga’s tearful confession came in a new HBO documentary about her Monster Ball Tour, certainly one of the most successful in recent years.
While Gaga, 25, has no reason to bemoan her past and every reason to celebrate her good fortune, she says she still sometimes feels like that “loser kid in high school.”
“I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be,” she says.
“But sometimes I still feel like people are trying to destroy me. I cannot be destroyed, I will not be destroyed and you will never destroy the kingdom that is my fans,” she adds.
Gaga is slavishly devoted to her fans, whom she calls little monsters.
The 25-year-old’s breakdown confessional comes while she was preparing for her Madison Square Garden show in New York City last year.
I’m fighting for every kid that’s like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel,” she continues.
“It hurts when I know how much authenticity and how much genuine blood is in my spirit and how much I feel like people don’t know that… ’cause they see wigs and lipstick and they shut down, ’cause they don’t understand.
“I just wanna be a queen for them and sometimes I don’t feel like one. It’s not about being a winner for me any more. It’s about being a winner for all of them,” she says.
Although Gaga has riled the Catholic Church with the lyrics of several songs, including her latest, “Judas,” off her album Born This Way, she’s not above praying.
“Please help me to be strong and know my own strength. Please help me to be brave, Lord. Dear God, give me courage. Do not let me give in to my own insecurities,” she says before going on stage.