Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart could be dead for all the tabloids know, rotting in the desert in some bizarre suicide pact. That story has yet to make it to the newsstands, but is no less true than the latest fodder. Would you believe sex skyping?
OK magazine, a beacon of reliable reporting, isn’t even bothering to make up a new angle. Instead it recycles Rob and Kristen’s wedding… again.
It was on, it was off, now it’s on again! the magazine proclaims. OK is at least creative in one sense. It dreamed up “sexy Skype sessions” between the “Twilight” couple. Stands to reason. It could be true. After all, Rob is in Australia and Kristen is in LA. Of course they’re skyping, wouldn’t you?
The skype angle was too juicy to pass up for the horde of trashy tabloid websites that wait with baited breath for this drivel to pour out, so they can breathlessly recycle it. Just check out Hollywood Life.
Of course, there’s no time given for the wedding, where it will be held, or if there is any shred of evidence that a wedding is in the near future, or even the far future. But why ruin a good story with details.
Frankly, we prefer the desert suicide pact story. After all, they’re so low key who’s to say their bones aren’t bleaching under the desert sun, right now?
According to Star, Rob’s already in Australia’s outback brooding away and has told Kristen not to visits. Doesn’t sound like marriage material, but hey skype sex? Still a possibility.
As for the wedding just take some advice from Kim Kardashian: Go ahead and go for it. You can always call it off, say 72 days after you’re married.
For more tabloid nonsense follow TheImproper on Twitter. We’ll give you the straight story… as soon as their bodies are discovered.