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Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart 'Reunite,' Or Maybe Not

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart met over the weekend for hot makeup sex, or to decide who gets the dog; no one really knows for sure. But a tabloid magazine that actually checks things out says they at least met… and can’t resist speculating.

It’s impossible to discern the meaning of the meeting. You see, that’s because they met in “secret,”  according to Gawker’s moronic reporter. As if they are heads of state who somehow have an obligation to conduct all of their affairs in public at the United Nations. Or at least Starbucks.

No, they are very private people. The couldn’t possibly have a secret meeting, because they  are under no obligation to meet in public, even if their ravenous fans are dying to learn where things stand in the wake of Stewart’s cheating scandal with Director Rupert Sanders.

According to People, which is not known to invent sources or makeup quotes like most other tabloid magazines, a source claims Rob and Kristen met in Los Angeles over the weekend. The story actually used the word “reunite.”

Isn’t that statement just a little bit loaded? What does “reunite” mean anyway? Is the magazine suggesting they’re an item again? Let’s check out their so-called “source.”

“According to an insider,” the magazine wrote, “the ‘Twilight’ hunk’s pals ‘think they’ll be a couple again.'” Which obviously means they’re not a couple yet. So, why throw a firebomb like the word “reunite?”

And really, an insider who knows the ‘Twilight’ hunk’s pals is not really an insider. That’s someone who is talking to someone who is supposed to be Rob’s pal. Except Rob’s real pals say they are not talking.

So, that’s not first-hand information; that’s not even second-hand information; it’s third hand dish. How reliable is that? Might as well quote PerezHilton.

Neither Pattinson nor Stewart has said anything in public about the nature of their obviously fractured relationship. But they do have a movie to jointly promote, “Breaking Dawn, Part 2.”

Is it possible they just wanted to work things out, so they can be civil to each other on the red carpet and during news conferences?

The press tour for the final “Twilight” movie starts in November. Probably then, and only then, will there be any clue as to how they feel about each other. Then, again, maybe not.

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