Amanda Bynes is the latest young Hollywood flip out. The police are hot on her tail, and weepy tabloid do-gooders are urging her to rehab. What does she hope to get out of it? Plenty.
Sure the press is bad. Gawker is having a field day. But let’s face it, what was she before her meltdown? A nobody that’s what.
At least now the 26-year-old actress and singer is getting press. All she needs to do next is to turn the negative into a positive. In Hollywood, that’s known as riding the spin cycle.
Everybody in America loves a comeback story, and Bynes is following a well worn strategy used by countless celebrities to rebuild their careers. Remember Demi Lovato? Nobody did!
The teen queen had her moment starring in “Sunny With a Chance.” But after two years in the shadows of Miley Cyrus on “Hannah Montana” and Selena Gomez on “Wizards of Waverly Place,” Disney pulled the plug, citing Lovato’s “health” issues.
She was a nobody, relegated to opening for the Jonas Brothers Band. Until that is, she had a meltdown and slugged a backup dancer on tour. Suddenly she was front-page news and the spin cycle was engaged.
The stories about her were ugly at first; an alleged cocaine habit, bulimia, cutting, an explosive temper. But after all of two months in rehab, she emerged in January 2011 a new woman. She looked healthy, went public with a childhood sob story and claimed she was bi-polar, Hollywood’s latest affliction du jour. Now she even has a soap box: teen bullying.
She did the talk shows, immediately put out Unbroken, a 2011 album filled with empowering anthems, and crowned her comeback with a new gig and a big paycheck on Fox’s “X-Factor.” Cycle complete.
Bynes, of course, is still struggling to extend her career beyond Nickelodeon. She was named one of Teen People’s “25 Hottest Stars Under 25” in 2006. Then… nada. She hasn’t acted in a decent movie since 2010’s “Easy A.”
Right now, she’s still in the meltdown phase. Nothing too serious; a few run-ins with the law, erratic driving (a Lindsay Lohan fave), and some weird behavior in public. Then, just to remind everyone, she cleans up and looks fabulous at a photo op. She claims she’s fine, just like that Twilight girl.
But expect to see a little more down-cycle behavior before this is over; maybe a nip slip, a pantyless crotch shot or two, or better yet a public brawl. They seem to be the most popular attention-getters these days. (See Miley Cyrus). If she’s desperate, she can throw in a crash diet and allude to drug use. (Demi Moore loves that one).
A little time in rehab wouldn’t hurt. After that, she can just sit back and watch her ship come in. She’ll be a veteran, a survivor, a Hollywooder with a history, a hot ticket for fashion shoots, talk shows and reality television. A somebody.