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Bland as White Bread Jimmy Kimmel Adds Bite to Emmys (watch)

Emmy host Jimmy Kimmel may be as bland as white bread, but he added some bite to the 64th Annual Emmy awards in an opening monologue that took pot shots at Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney and President Obama.

Kimmel also enlisted an all-star cast of Emmy nominees for an cold open skit that featured “Girls” actress Lena Dunham naked and Zooey Deschanel trying out facial expressions with “Mad Men’s” Christina Hendrix.

Major Emmy Award Winners

Drama Series

Best Drama: Homeland, Showtime
Best Actress: Claire Danes, Homeland, Showtime
Best Actor: Damian Lewis, Homeland, Showtime
Best Supporting Actor: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad, AMC
Best Supporting Actress: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey, PBS
Writing: Alex Gansa, Howard Gordon, Gideon Raff, Homeland, Showtime
Directing: Tim Van Patten, Boardwalk Empire, HBO

Comedy Series

Comedy: Modern Family, ABC
Actress: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep, HBO
Actor: Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men, CBS
Supporting Actor: Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family, ABC
Supporting Actress: Julie Bowen, Modern Family, ABC
Writing: Louis C.K, Louie, FX Networks
Directing: Steven Levitan, Modern Family, ABC

Miniseries or Movie

Best Miniseries or Movie: Game Change, HBO
Actress: Julianne Moore, Game Change, HBO
Actor: Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys, History
Supporting Actor: Tom Berenger, Hatfields & McCoys, History
Supporting Actress: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story, FX Networks
Writing: Danny Strong, Game Change, HBO
Directing: Jay Roach, Game Change, HBO

Variety, Reality Shows

Host, Reality-Competition Program: Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars, ABC
Reality-Competition Program: The Amazing Race, CBS
Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Comedy Central
Writing: Louis C.K., Louis C.K. Live at the Beacon Theatre, FX Networks
Directing,: Glenn Weiss, 65th Annual Tony Awards, CBS

The opening skit unfolded in the ladies room backstage where “Nashville” star Connie Britton, Kathy Bates from “Harry’s Law,” Martha Plimpton from the “Good Wife” and Julia Louis-Dreyfus from “Veep” were interrupted when a sobbing Kimmel burst into the room.

Britton opened the door to one stall and discovered Dunham naked eating a whole birthday cake. In the next stall, Kimmel was cowering next to the commode, hiding his over-Botoxed face. But the girls had a fix for that. Check out the video below.

Kimmel opened his monologue with some gentle chiding that played off the egos and vanity of audience members, most of whom would go home losers, he noted.

“We are here tonight to honor television, the most popular entertainment medium around the world and the only American product the Chinese haven’t figured out how to make,” he said.

He also noted that one out of five actors nominated were British, likely because they studied at the Royal Shakespeare Academy, while U.S. actors are discovered at the mall.

Kimmel drew a parallel between “Downton Abbey,” about life among Britain’s aristocracy and the GOP presidential candidate. “It really gives you a sense of what it must have been like to grow up in Mitt Romney’s house,” he said.

Are any of you voting for Mitt Romney?” he asked the audience to scattered applause. “All right, there are 40 Republicans and the rest godless, liberal homosexuals.”

He also had a few words for the president. “Maybe it’s just me, but does it bother anyone else that President Obama said his favorite show is ‘Homeland?’ I don’t think the president should be watching ‘Homeland’ for the same reason that I don’t think Charlie Sheen should be watching ‘Breaking Bad.”

If there was a cringe worthy moment it was when Kimmel did a riff on “Mad Men,” noting that it was the most nominated show this year. He singled out its star John Hamm. “You gave a tremendous performance this year, and I for one, am shocked you did not win tonight,” Kimmel said.

As the audience broke out in nervous laughter, Kimmel came back with “Too soon?” As it turned out, it was. Hamm and “Mad Men” were shut out.

Check out the monologue and opening skit below and click here to follow TheImproper on Twitter for more television updates.

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