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Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart: Loopiest Reunion Story Yet

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have agreed to a no-sex pact to save their relationship. Ha! The “Twilight” duo is tabloid gold and sleazier publications will report anything to capture fan attention.

A report out of Great Britain is the latest to play off their reunion in the wake of Stewart’s cheating scandal with “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders.

London tabloid The Mirror claims the Rob and Kristen have hired a top Hollywood psychiatrist to help them mend their relationship. Not only that, but it claims to know what the shrink is advising them.

That would be next to impossible. Psychaitrists operate under strict confidentiality. They aren’t even required to disclose what they learn to police investigators. To do otherwise would put their license to practice in extreme jeopardy.

So that means Rob or Kristen have told someone, who is now turning around and talking to one of London’s sleazier tabloids. If he or she exists at all, the source was likely told in strictest confidence. So, they are massively betraying the couple.

Yet the publication claims to have a “source,” anonymous of course. “The first thing the psychiatrist did was immediately slap them with the nookie ban, according to my source,” the paper reported.

“The super-hot couple have been ordered to sleep in separate beds for at least a month while they ‘work on communicating, healing wounds and trust exercises.'” The pyschiatrist also told them to take a romantic vacation out of the spotlight. But no sex?

“Sex is going to have to wait. The plan is that the two of them concentrate on each other and rebuilding their relationship,” the source claims.

This is so patently ridiculous it can’t be true. Yet so many Web sites are taking the report at face value and regurgitating it. You know who they are, and they know who they are. That’s really the sad part.

Does any fan really believe Rob and Kristen are the type of people who would see a psychiatrist, much less listen to one?

In the end, they are really doing themselves a disservice by not making some public statement about their relationship. It only feeds the belief that the cheating scandal is all about publicity in advance of “Breaking Dawn, Part 2.”

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