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Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 1Kristen Stewart’s tumble from the “Twilight” pedestal of “eternal love” has evoked a range of reaction on Twitter. It’s a field day for wits, twits and undying believers in true love. It’s also a devilish blood sport.

Stewart admitted cheating on hottest-actor-in-the-world Robert Pattinson, a man so decent and kind-hearted, he was just asking to be kicked in the teeth. As such, the Twitter world is not being so kind to Snow Blight right now.

There are definite trends in the Kristen Stewart trending universe. Tweets are falling into broad categories, ranging from haters to mindless supporters. In between are the hilarious. She’s a national punching bag at the moment, and everything is fair game, from the way she looks to the way she acts to the movies she’s starred in. Oh… and death threats?

Here’s a sampling:

Personally Speaking

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 2@BettyFckinWhite: “Kristen Stewart admits to cheating on Robert Pattinson. She looks really upset about it, or happy, or maybe sleepy”

@MzGossipGirl: “At least now Kristen Stewart has a reason to look awkward and uncomfortable in public…”

@nicolepomarico: “What is wrong with the world today that Kristen Stewart has two boyfriends and I only have one?”

@Lord_Voldemort7: “Kristen Stewart allegedly cheated on Robert Pattinson. This would have never happened with Cho Chang!”

@Goblet Of Tweets: “Unfortunately Kristen Stewart can’t show she’s sorry for cheating on Robert Pattinson because she has no facial expressions…”

 ‏@markleggett: So is Kristen Stewart going to prison now for cheating on Edward? She def should. What she did is like, obvs totally illegal and everything.

 ‏@peachesanscream: I’m shocked & horrified That Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. Two men fancy her. TWO.

@SueeReid: Kristen Stewart kinda creeps me out.

@NickYoussef: “On the bright side, Kristen Stewart finally destroyed her longstanding reputation as the most boring person on planet earth.”

@kramediggles: “uh…er um….uhhhhh…….like……like, totally”

@DarrenBelitsky: Kristen Stewart apologized to Robert Pattinson for cheating. You could tell it was heartfelt, because she bit her lip and blinked twice.

Who Cares?

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 3@BorowitzReport: “As Syria spirals into civil war, CNN asks: Should Robert Pattinson forgive Kristen Stewart for cheating?”

@MattMarcotte: “Finally figured out what I care about less than anything else–who Kristen Stewart is sleeping with.”

@Jamster83: KRISTEN STEWART CHEATED ON ROBERT PATTINSON?! OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS totally unchanged and exactly the same as it was five seconds ago.

‏@yoyoha: Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. It’s like the entire world wants me to not care about something.

Oh the Irony!

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 4@Caissie: “I mean, Kristen Stewart apologized to R-Patz in PEOPLE MAGAZINE? Doesn’t she have any contact info for him?”

@czilka: “Kim Jong-un marriage is announced as Kristen Stewart apologizes to Robert Pattinson for cheating. It’s like an SAT analogy question.”

@tbrick2: “Kristen Stewart can expect an edible arrangement from Tom Cruise in the next day or two.”

@DanGurewitch:  “Fine I’ll tweet it if none of you will. Kristen Stewart was biting someone else’s lower lip.”

‏@thejoshpatten: TEAR DOWN THE KRISTEN STEWART STATUE, MADAME TUSSAUD

@DepressedDarth: Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. Now she isn’t on Team Edward or Team Jacob, she’s on Team Older-Married Guy.

True Believers in Undying Love

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 5@fortunefunny: “I refuse to work until Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson make it through this rough patch.”

@HauntedTwilight: Really glad everyone is seeing this rubbish for what it is now. Photoshopped, fake, hurtful rumours. Kristen Stewart is amazing I love her.

@larry411: Somebody please photoshop me into a picture with Kristen Stewart so I can get some free press.

@TeamKristen: People will try to tear KristenStewartdown but she will be rising from the ground like a SKYSCRAPER, okay?

@MarisaSoraya: I still can’t believe Kristen Stewart cheated on Rob Pattinson. What were you thinking girl!

@PennyRed: “Kristen Stewart does not care about your bourgeois morality”

A Metaphor For Her Acting

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 6@KayArePea: “Kristin Stewart and Rupert Sanders – still a better love story than #Twilight.”

 ‏@TommyWee: Kristen Stewart apologises for cheating on Rob Pattinson with director Rupert Sanders. She should apologise for Twilight first.

 ‏@Wil_Anderson: “Poor Kristen Stewart. She is confused. She has just spent the last five years convincing tweens that love-triangles are cool…”

@billyeichner:  Did you really expect Kristen Stewart NOT to cheat on a man who starred in WATER FOR ELEPHANTS?

 ‏@jennaezarik: “The real question is… who needs to cheat with who to keep Kristen Stewart out of movies?’

@Paxochka: “Getting away with an affair requires acting skills. That should have been Kristen Stewart’s first clue she’d get busted.”

@adam_fogle: A lot of people are giving Kristen Stewart a hard time for being a terrible girlfriend. But don’t forget she’s also a terrible actor.

Death before Dishonor

Kristen Stewart Cheating a Field Day for Twitter Wits, Twits 7@Yo_Guile: Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with her director… WTF! *loads and cocks gun* Imma kill that b*tch.”  :/

@savannah_lovely: “Dear Kristen Stewart, Thank you for cheating on Rob. Now he’s mine. But I’m still going to kill you for breaking his heart.”

@ellyeaah: If it’s true that Kristen Stewart has cheated on Robert Pattinson, I will personally kill her.”

@omgitzlinda: So Kristen Stewart finally cheated on Robert pattinson. Bitch is about to die. No one cheats on Robert pattinson.

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