Jay Pharaoh puts on his best Obama to kick off the show’s cold open. It’s set at a community college where “real people” will explain what ObamaCare means to them.
Jennifer Osborn, a sales clerk, is psyched for ObamaCare.
“Now that I’ve got free health care I can get sick all the time; free medicine you’all!” she exclaims.
“Wait! That’s not quite how it works,” the president interjects, to no avail.
“I’ve stopped washing my hands and I’m licking hella’ subway poles. Thanks Mr. President.”
One of the biggest benefits of ObamaCare is it allows children to stay on their parents’ health care policy until they are 26-years-old. Obama called up a father-son team to tell their “success” story.
“I am so relieved that my dumb, lazy, good-for-nothing son has full health coverage,” says the dad. “We kept telling him, hey idiot, you have to get a job to earn health care.”
“The other day he pinched a nerve so bad whacking it, that couldn’t even close the laptop. We walked in from church and the porno was just still playing full volume. He was just lying on the floor.”
New castmember Kate McKinnon plays an overworked ER doctor. “Look I have no idea what the hell this law does. All I know is ObamaCare or no ObamaCare, people have to stop putting things up their butt.”
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